Something i penned with my inner most thoughts...
Just So You'd Know If heaven could feel my pain.
Feeling melancholy and going insane
Disoriented, lifeless and merely existing,
With a soul but never really living
Let me break free from the chains of sorrow
When will there ever be a better tomorrow,
Didn't Romeo said parting was such sweet sorrow
How can sorrow be sweet when it feels like you're on a death row,
My heart becomes nothing but an organ that beats,
It's now just a mechanism that prevents me from THAT eternal sleep.
Devoid of all emotions because I can no longer feel
Devoid from your touch, smile and laughter is nothing but a slow kill
Now I know what it feels like to lose you,
My world turns upside down n marred into nothing but a hazy hue.
At night, when everyone has gone to the land of dreams
I lie awake thinking of all ways and means
To find you in my dreams, at least it's nothing but a mere conciliation
It may be transient, but that short minute I have u in my sight is nothing but sheer jubilation.
I don't want you just in my dreams, I want you back in reality,
Come back, you’re driving me crazy.
No words penned here can truly describe feeling of desolation,
But words are my only source of compensation.
Seconds feels like minutes, minutes feel like hours and hours feel like eternity,
But the minute I have you in my arms, you would erase all traces of calamity…
Author: jo
It's saturday..and what am i doing? sniff-g like no tmr cos of my stupid block nose.. couldnt get to slp till like 4am yesterday.. kp thinking and "night" dreaming of alot of things that's like swirling in my head.. it's random thoughts.. it's memories.. it's uhh everything?
Strummed the guitar for abt an hour++ or so till my fingers hurt.. but i really have got nothing to do.. then in order not to kp my mind free i have to uhh kp it occupied... okay doesnt make sense.. i think alot of things have happened in my life which i choose not to take it seriously...till maybe till it's gone..
Sometimes i feel used.. like a trashbag.. when im of use then im patronised.. if not..im left there waiting till im made useful agn.. if not im redundant.. that really didnt bother me.. on the contrary the thought of that made me feeling fucked up.. but i think that's just a catalyst to make me feel this way..everything has been going uhh no good for me after that day when i heard u cry.. hai... it's like oh gawd.. dont dont.. but how to stop u from crying..i wish i could run over n hug u but u know that's impossible.. unless i was wonderwomen or something.. but then agn.. i do not have such big assets to play her role..so uhh yeah i gotta drop the idea... anyhow.. i dont feel like blogging.. it doesnt help when ur brain's not working..
My love is your love
Now and forever
You're the one that I long to kiss
Baby, you're the one that I really miss
You're the one that I'm dreaming of
Baby, you're the one that I love
Keep me in your heart
Never let us part
Ooh, never leave me
Please don't deceive me
I want you only
You must believe me...
2:33 PM In the words of jo
Thursday, March 11, 2004
mock exams are over...
i need to change the music.. it's affecting my brain n mood...
Like finally man.. but somehow i feel some sense of emptyness like im deprive of something.. could have been those cramming, mugging and memorising.. suddenly exams are over i need not stuff more notes into my already exhausted brain..or it could be something else.. now i feel like a soul running on empty.. i need fuel..but cannot find the source to nourish or rejuvnate myself..the source seem distant and far..im trying to reach for it but it fades the instant im near it.. all my body can do is to crave or suffer from withdrawal symptoms.. it's a horrible feeling...
But on the surface i must act natural.. i must act as though im healthy, fit, not tired, and not missing anything.. but i cannot hold out much longer.. my brain's not thinking straight.. it's like a whirlwind.. it's like a vortex of emotion, work, stress, studies, problems all churned into one..it doesnt help much when i hear the sound of someone sobbing on the other line.. but im helpless.. i wish i could help.. the sobbing winced my heart... now my brain is working in auto mode.. it might crash anytime.. what can i do to ease ur pain? why dont you tell me?
Enough of rambling.. cut my hair.. way too short.. now i look like some shit guy.. the stylist happily cut like no tmr.. when she gel my hair.. i wanted to faint... haiz.... cant wait till sunday... there's carwash.. there's birthday.. swell.. im so not having a gd day.. how to? how to have a gd day when i know deep down we both are suffering.. how to smile when i know ur crying ur guts out.. how to hold my head up and act normal when i know i can never do that untill i know ur feeling better hearing my voice.. or just listen to me ramble.. how..how...how...
I'm lying alone with my head on the phone
Thinking of you till it hurts
I know Lisas hurt too but what else can we do,
tormented and torn apart....
10:15 PM In the words of jo
Tuesday, March 09, 2004
2 papers down 2 more to go...yes yes yes...
Monday: 8th march'04: 10am-1pm -- Criminal Law
Tuesday:9th march'04: 10am-1pm -- Public Law
Wednesday:10th march'04: 10am-1pm -- English Legal System
Thursday:11th march'04: 10am-1pm --Contract Law
today's a special sweet memorable day... it's bitter yet sweet... it's happy yet sad... wao..oxymoron... met gerri for lunch today after my public law paper.. the paper was so~ so~ but my fingers gave up on me... then i kp cracking my joints like some dis-jointed freak... i think people ard me prob thot im sucha distraction..anyhow..i thought i have no more time then when i finally finished i realised i got a frigging 15mins more..
I got my First birthday present courtesy of Gerri! thank u! the shirt very nice!! i like! now my ma gona borrow after i wear... see ur taste so good.. on thurs..i have no where to go.. how sad... hahaha... ah well..
Gerri*..have fun in msia man! lucky u..enjoy urself! then on sun u can rem to wish me happy birthday..hehe! pls listen to the instructor hor..dont look at the sky for scenery till u din hear instructions... tsktsk... cya on SUNday....
I?m gonna take this moment,
And make it last forever,
I?m gonna give my heart away,
And pray we?ll stay together.
Cos you?re the one good reason
You just close your eyes
And you'll be here with me
Just look to your heart, and that's where I'll be
If you just close your eyes
Till you're drifting away
You'll never be too far from me
If you close your eyes, close your eyes
Just a smile and the rain is gone
Can hardly believe it (yeah)
There's an angel standing next to me
Reaching for my heart
I lay my love on you
It's all I wanna do
Every time I breathe
I feel brand new
You open up my heart
Show me all your love, and walk right through
As I lay my love on you
It's every little thing you do
That makes me fall in love with you
There isn't a way that I can show you
Ever since I've come to know
It's every little thing you say
That makes me wanna feel this way
There's not a thing that I can point to
Cause it's every little thing you do
Sweet ~,make me immortal with a kiss,
Your lips suck forth my soul,see where it flies
Come ~,come give me my soul again,
Here will i dwell,for heaven is in those lips...
Whenever dark turns to night
And all the dreams sing their song
And in the daylight forever
To you I belong??
Beside the sea
Where the waves broke
I drew a heart for you
In the sand
In fields where streams
Turn to rivers
I ran to you
You were there
what does take to wait for u a million times
If in the end u eleminate time..
Holding your hand
I won't fear tomorrow
Here where we stand
We'll never be alone
You took my heart away
When my whole world was gray
You gave me everything
And a little bit more
And when it's cold at night
And you sleep by my side
You become the meaning of my life
I just wanna say it straight from my heart
I miss you...
