Dear Lord, grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change,
Courage to change the things we can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.. if Lord u chose this path for me to cross please let the obstacles faced to be less daunting..im only human i can only take so much suffering.. when it becomes inevitable, i would think of stupid things to do, i know im going agst your wishes, im not the usual "catholic" you see.. i worship you yet have mountainous questions which deemed questioning my faith. I have done things that you would condemn me to hell forever, but my dear Lord, ask your son himself, he was a man, he was human, though no sin, but he was tempted, ask him how hard is it to fight away the feeling of love.. being mocked by society because of something that was innate, if so, why do u create me?i have no control over my creation, i didnt choose to become what im today.
God, why make my path in life difficult, all i see in front of me are big obstacles that i cannot cross alone, where are you? just because you deem what im doing is sin, are you going to abandon me?why cant you see that im happy, why cant you feel the zest in me, you made me, ans me, why are u silent. If your ways are never my ways then how do you expect me to understand u. If your thoughts are not my thoughts, and you high n mighty up there, how would i know you love me? God.. i dont ask for many things in life. I only ask for health n happiness. Why cant you grant me happiness, when u apparently did, why are you taking it away from me. If u want to feel what it's like to have your heart wrecked n torn apart i suggest you put your ears to listen to mine now.. it's tearing up bit by bit, inch by inch. soon.. i be cold n distant, then you will fault me agn..
I know when i die one day, this scene of me typing this entry will flash before me n warrant me with a million years in purgatory, but Lord i only ask of u to do one thing, just listen to my heart, hear my pain, for once, hear mine side n my ways.. be in my shoes..in the first place, why do u create me.. why... Lord if u have to strike me down, i suggest u inflict all sufferings on me, n not that person.. i will do all ur will n suffering in silence. if i have to die a tormented death just so i can see happiness, i will accept what you have dictated n humbly carry the cross when the time comes..but before u do.. pls know im only human, i want to do your will and pls.. ask ur son.. how hard it is to live on earth n to try n devoid yourself from loving caring and being happy.. ask jesus.. he knows.. ask Mother mary.. she knows..
Lord, give me strength.. i cannot do anything without your help.. pls sustain me,pls do not harm .... u know my world will crumble n shatter.. pls do not inflct that on me.. let no evil be upon .... bless.... if you have to, tk my guardian angel n give to.... i will suffer anything if u can grant me happiness for .... n my family...
Lord im not trying to attract attention, but i feel that by typing, my emotions flow thru my fingers n they spell out things my heart cannot say.. forgive me for apparently showing my emotions.. im sorry... God, forgive me... n hear my prayer.. Amen.
