Lets see, im going to redang in 2days time n yes im excited.. -squeals- i'll be looking at the sun, sand n sea 24/7 for about 4days straight..i can relax without having to stress about money, food, jealousy, okay maybe i take the last one back.. but i really hope it be a good trip.. and u know sorta like reorganise myself. my life.. my perspective n well every fucking thing thats been bothering me..
Audrey audrey.. my dear audrey.. i understand your pain, i really do.. because u know why? like u, im a freak of nature, God made other people so that they can mock at us, despise us, hurl abuses at us, n of course single us out to hate. i like u have been searching for an ans to the exact questions u have posted to god, but like u i cant seem to find an answer, or even a path that would give me some form of solace. tho i find solace in people like jem, u and gerr who dont like ridicule me before they really know me.for that im thankful. though one day jem u or gerr may change at least i can tk solace that at one point in my life, u all were there to pull me through all those shits. God made u like this so that u can also help me n jem along the way when we falter, or when our mothers decide to chide us for being someone whom we feel so right yet so wrong.. for dressing up in clothes tt feel so right but never accepted in this world. never.. ever..
Yes i really wished i never did love anyone so much so that i can take the final plunge that would help me sorta find some inner peace.but well this pple maybe angels in disguise so hang in there..audrey, u can always come to me anytime when u're feeling so fucked up.. remb what we can do when we're down?all the SIC days.. u shd remb la.. though my arms quite boney but i can hug u n let u cry on my shoulders yupperz?! u're one of my very best buddies tt i've met..in fact u, jem n gerr were there when someone wasnt.. so yes.. u're impt.. i dont care.. u better not make me play the guitar at ur funeral.. i wont give u tt privilege till ur 60!i still need alot of prac..so u gotta wait to die when ur 60 or older!=) so from now till then, have faith in urself, u can succeed audrey.. remb i still wanna go police academy with u lorh..u better dont come n anyhow think u wanna die..i already thought of it so many times till i give up n hey just think of how pat will feel, how JEM N I would feel, everyone who really care yeah? i kp thinkg of how my family would grieve for me, how gerr will just die, n pple who care will feel bad that they didnt do anything to stop me.. basically i dont want anyone to be blamed for my final rest.. so i shall let nature tk its course.. unless u know what happen lah..
Audrey.. think even if god really did thought of it as a joke.. just think of the one that can cry with us n feel our pain. Think of our lady. think of the bestest mother in the world, mother mary.. audrey..she hears ur pain, i bet she cries with u, n never fails to wipe the tears u shed. her heart breaks ever so often when she sees her child cry. i always think no matter how freaked out im, i have faith that Mother Mary is always beside crying with me n hugging me.. and tt always makes me feel tons better.. i always cry to her n talk to her.. she's good man.. i'll pray for u yah?
It's never gona happen that one day people will accept us, so instead of letting them put us down. we're gona show them that no matter what abuses they may hurl at us, we're still children of God, he made us the way we're n we shd be proud. God still loves us aud.. maybe our journey on earth maybe tougher.. but maybe in heaven we can shake leg..=) believe that no matter how fucked up we may be.. we're made in his image n likeness.. so either there's smthg wrong w god or we're just mistakes.. but tt also means we get more leeway when we die..carry on living..im here, jem's here.. all of us are here to help each other everytime some fucking guy or some fucking girl diss us.. rmb that's why we're getting our deg, with education no one can mock at us.. pple will bow down to us.. n if anyone ever defame us.. rem what we do best.. sue them..one last thing aud..just tk it as this is our cross.. carry it like how jesus carried his.. all the way till death... -hugz-
i wish u could hear n understand my inner pain
Things i wish not to say..
Because i love u.. im giving my all to u..
Dont break my hrt,
There're already cracks..pls dont smash it..
Am i wrong just because Im in love w u?...........
