I'm born different.
I'm born with a character unlike many girls. some would think that i'm sorta like a unique class of people altogether.. but with each piece of admiration comes with a million words of sheer mockery.. i dress differently but that doesnt mean i wasnt endowed with feelings or emotion. It also doesnt mean that i cannot feel hurt, angry, repressed or vengeful. but still abuses are hurled at me like rain from the sky.. at times i would work towards academic excellence so even if i get unwelcome comments, i still get to look down on those people n go.. ignorant airheads.. what would you know?!we're worlds apart, how can you even be worthy to comment abt me.. it may sound really arrogant..but step into my shoes for a minute.. the angst that u'll be feeling can mould you to be the next hitler.. i will exterminate brainless, self-centred people.. haha..
Im not trying to be someone else.. im still joanne, just prob really different from any girls you see on the street.. you know what are the kind of people i really cannot stand?! people who are too full of themselves..those who think they are better than everyone when in fact, they are the sorriest bunch of people on earth, they are what i call liabilities to the society, those that God forgot to put 'brains' into them! okaye im so mean.. whatever it is, i feel that if u so wish to voice ur 'kind' 'senseless' opinions..at least give me the chance to put you back in place..
update of jo's life: for your info, im not in some depress state, but it just irks me when people i know are so lewd in their comments..it's like look at ur puny self first kinda thing.. anyways.. class was okaye today except a certain individual who was really inconsiderate.. i think that one person pissed the entire class.. cant wait till fri, then i can get my much awaited break..enough of me...i need to immerse myself with your love..wont you shower me with it...
I am nothing without you Just a shadow passing through...
9:55 AM In the words of jo
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
i have been asked to blog by some of my obivously very bored friends..so me being the nice girl im decided to urm yeah write something so that pple like jasmine cn find entertainment online.. haha.. n pple like jem would START visiting my blog..
I used to think that hiding was a gd way to act as a form of decoy to people who love to bother about other people's personal or social lives..like when i do not reveal my true self n hide behind a web of deceit they would ultimately fall for my game of "hide no seek". i never knew what i carefully attempt to mask was foiling..much thanks to people who wouldnt choose studies as their main focus but my seemingly harmless life.. it in fact caused much pain n frustration to me because i have to constantly rebuild my fortress of lies n more lies.. decoys n more decoys.. it's getting so sick that im about to puke at them.. puke wisdom to busybodies.. i wonder if they're only born for gossips..
I really dunno what has gotten into me, but it's so hard when i have to act normal when im feeling all fucked up inside.. i dont want to push u away but i think i did..what am i to do!?sit and sulk!? i do understand the genuine concerns n intentions but it's just so harsh.. then comes the emptyness that churns ard my head till i cant take it anymore n brk down..then comes the craving for --- .. i dont blame this homosapien for getting so sick of my cravings.. actually i admire this homosapien for tolerating it..
I still gotta hide.. i still gota rebuild my fortress thats made up of sand.. it's destroyed with every punishing wave.. i wear a mask daily.. only in front of u do i remove it.. because i feel i can be true to u, be myself.. i can show u the side of me no one knows.. im so starved of affection that it's eating into my emotion, eating into my very being n hiding makes it so bad.. but for the sake of what i hold so dear to me.. i will hide.. i will do what it takes to protect my sandcastle.. my castle that only consist of the indivdual whom i so cherish.. for now.. let me go find a mask to hide for tomorrow....
Though i try to hide it, It's clear... my world crumbles when u're not here....
