Always said I would know where to find love, Always thought I'd be ready and strong enough, But some times I just felt I could give up. But you came and changed my whole world now, I'm somewhere I've never been before. Now I see, what love means. It's so unbelievable, And I don't want to let it go, Something so beautiful, Flowing down like a waterfall. I feel like you've always been, Forever a part of me. And it's so unbelievable to finally be in love, Somewhere I'd never thought I'd be. In my heart, in my head, it's so clear now, Hold my hand you've got nothing to fear now, I was lost and you've rescued me some how-. I'm alive, I'm in love you complete me, And I've never been here before. Now I see, what love means.
When I think of what I have, and this chance I nearly lost, I cant help but break down, and cry. Ohh yeah, break down and cry. Now I see, what love means
but of course... wrong channel... it shd be this
You were her only girl The most precious thing in her world And I know it makes you cry That you never got to say goodbye You were just running out of time To say what was on your mind You never wanted her to leave And mom I know it makes you grief
I walk this empty street On the boulevard of broken dreams And I'm the only one and I walk alone My shadow's the only one that walks beside me My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating Sometimes I wish someone out there would find me Till then I walk alone Check my vital signs to know I'm still alive And I walk alone
7:20 PM In the words of jo
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Life has been like an emotional roller coaster for me. i wake up in the morng and go fuck another day i have to go through. it's so hard. it was easy when i had a pillar to take a rest everytime i get weary. now im left with myself, reeling in pain of not knowing whats going on. given alot of thought during these 2weeks and i found part of myself and have change mindsets with alot of things. just dont have the chance to show it and no 2nd chance for me to make amends. it's so cliche but it's true, you only treasure someone when they are gone. one more shot to try is all i have to ask of you. is it that hard to turn back? it's 3 major blows at one go, how am i to take the pain hitting me from all 3sides. no air left in my lungs. everyday i wish n hope n pray that things can improve. at least i cld continue living my life with the comfort of knowing i still havent lose you, and that you can be there to share my pains and bad times with me. everyday i live with a heavy heart, unable to let go, unable to live, unable to cry, unable to feel, i never knew how bad it could hit me. now that it has im paralysed. everywhere i go everything i do your face pops out, ur smell hits me in all directions. i turn around i see nothing but an empty place with just me fighting the thoughts. fighting the memories. i cant even escape from sleep either, i dream, dream of things that seem so perfect then i awake n have pangs of pain hitting ur heart till u just collapse in exhaustion. how long can i hold out till i really collapse. how long must you torment me. why have you leave and i didnt know about it. what did i do to incur your final wrath. you threw me in the bushes. i cant even crawl to you, i have no energy to live because you took the very life out of me. i have only pictures left, words to hang on but no physical body to hang on my dear life too. im really collapsing... how many days must i live in pain. why wont you hear me..why did you go....
When you left I lost a part of me It’s still so hard to believe Come back baby please cause We belong together Who else am I gonna lean on when times get rough Who’s gonna talk to me on the phone Till the sun comes up Who’s gonna take your place There ain’t nobody better Oh baby baby We belong together
11:11 AM In the words of jo
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Dont really know what i rant to a blog. it's like coming to the end of the tunnel. but i dont want to get out. it's like when you really finally felt so happy and finally tell god thank you. he replies by saying. dont get too happy. i can take it away. and hell he does. then it makes u wonder. retribution for the past pple you hurt? things you didnt do right when you were given the chance too. then when its all taken away from you in a single second you fall real hard. you lose direction. no where to turn. left or right it's still wrong. then you wish you just take a long sleep and get up and you remb nothing. or just be numb. numb till no more tears can emerge from ur eye. numb till ur hrt becomes an organ tt beats to sustain you. you try to grasp for that lifejacket, yet the more you struggle, the faster you drown. im drowning. drowning in pain, in so much pain. it's like having acid poured on my hrt.. it's abt learning to accept n walk when you really have no more energy to live. how do you forget when forget is like losing your world. the world you have created which consist of happiness. true happiness you found in 21yrs of ur measley life. then sudd.. it's taken from you.. and it seems as tho it's gone and u are left with the dust of memories.. only memories... all because you didnt be perfect.
you know..this is what i have left. may not mean anytg to u. but it does for me. RYAN CABRERA Photo A photo can say a thousand things But it cant say the million things i wanna say A photo can capture the way we were But it cant capture the way we are Cause you're far away What it's like to know you What it's like to touch you, yeah When you told me that you loved me Were those just words? You cant tell me you dont need me And i know that hurts Cause im looking at your picture Cause its all i've got Maybe one day you and me will have One more shot Timing lost minutes and moments Yeah i might be lonely girl But im not afraid In a second it all comes right back to me No nothings forgotten now Yeah everythings saved What its like to touch you What its like to know you, Yeah When you told me that you loved me Were those just words? You cant tell me you dont need me And i know that hurts Cause im looking at your picture Cause its all i've got Maybe one day you and me will have One more shot You were my life You were my faith You gave me hope everyday When you told me that you loved me Were those just words? You cant tell me you dont need me And i know that hurts Cause im looking at your picture Cause its all i've got Maybe one day you and me will have One more shot
11:26 PM In the words of jo
I have changed. or so i feel. I have learn that you cannot depend on anyone but yourself. Sacrifice for the ones you love but never expect anything in return that way if it's reciprocated the rewards you reap becomes so much more. Wait for the ones you love but get the hint if they do not wish to have you as their other half anymore. Look and realise that im much more than what others think of me. I'm my own enemy. I'm goodlooking. what the heck. I have friends, very good friends. they rock. only thing im still unsure is... do i still fight? or should i walk away from the fight? they are no signs, no blinking signs telling me it's time to let go. or did i choose not to see them? what am i to do?wait...oh yah.. paitence is a virtue...
Went out with jem yest and it was totally hilarious. we got so happy over stich mini stuff toy. jem bought stich for kel cos she thinks kel looks like a stich.meany girl she! haha. and i supposed bought it for ahem. but i think i fell in love with it and wouldnt know if ahem even wants it in case ahem thinks im just a pain in the arse for bothering ahem. so i kept it. it's mine now:) it's really cute u know? it's my new fav stuff toy besides elephantsy n gerraffe. hope no one steals my stich. *hint* haha. so jem n i walked the whole of town just to hunt for presents , jem kept swiping her card till i got scared. she's like a millionaire or smtg.. cut my hair and it looks really wow. just tt my sides are botak but i kinda really really love it?? maybe the haircut made my day... went sch and met pooja n harnie.. so everything's still the same. except i do not have you. im left hanging. no one gets the best of both worlds. either you sacrifice abit of time for me. or else what am i to do hanging. i cant like wait everyday without knowing right?how long will" i dont know" last for me? then again.. i choose this path of not giving up. then i shd stick to it. i have changed. have you change ur mind yet?
You've been gone for too long
1:14 PM In the words of jo
Sunday, February 05, 2006
the things you wrote to me. the words you said.
"baby i always pray to God to make us strong and hold on to each other regardless of how hard the situation might be.I dont want any harm bestowed on you. i'll just cry my guts out if that happens (choy)"
"we gotta prepared if any major arguments arise. if that happens and if im being a total bitch and being very unreasonable, pls take this letter,show it to my face and make me reaslise how stupid im to break your heart and lemme hug you real tight k?"
"cos im certain, sure, confirm plus guarantee chop plus stamp that i want you for keeps for life with me as long as i breathe my last."
"just want to tell you that tog we can make things happen.regardless of how tough or how hard we fall we can tog of course pick each other up and go thru the ups and downs in life tog."
"im quite excited to welcome yr2006 with mole mole girl. next yr will be a tough year but im sure we will surevive it right?just like how we survive this yr (2005)."
"we cont to be there for each other okay?"
"yours always."
These were your words. the words of joy to me. what happen? didnt u promise? we even thumbprint a form of no parting. we pinky promise..
Why did I listen to those lies when you were standing there for me? Why did I never tell you? Why did I not say? Why did I push it away? Why did I never trust you? I could have told you all my fears Why did i never treasure. why did I throw it all away. Why did i not have the courage to tell you that im not the total cos of it. Why did i wallow in guilt. Tell me I should not be feeling what I am today Tell me to silence my heart For there is a wall between you and I I have done it. i blown it again.
Darling there will never be another Cause I love you so, dont ever leave me, Say youll never go I will always want you for my sweetheart No matter what you do Oh! --------- ------, Im so in love with you.
5:34 PM In the words of jo
heard this in bishan J8 and went dammit..the song so meaningful and i never thought abt it.. so there.... 2 A.M. and the rain is falling Here we are at the crossroads once again You're tellin me you're so confused You can't make up your mind Is this meant to be You're asking me But only love can say -- try again or walk away But I believe for you and me The sun will shine one day So I'll just play my part And pray you'll have a change of heart But I can't make you see it through That's something only love can do In your arms as the dawn is breaking Face to face and a thousand miles apart I've tried my best to make you see There's hope beyond the pain If we give enough -- if we learn to trust
I know if I could find the words To touch you deep inside You'd give our dream just one more chance Don't let this be our last good-bye
