can anyone tell me if there is a cure for depression. besides anti-depressant. besides TLC pills. besides committing suicide. besides receiving you love.
any other suggestions? im sick of having no appetite and sick of chest pains. sick of crying sick of laughing. sick of having whirlwind emtions everyday.
If god could grant me a wish. i'd wish he turn back time to let me feel you by my side n treasure the words n actions then when all this happen once again. i know i did my utmost best to love you. forgive me for i have hurt you.
People had 2nd chances. i just had one. and i did not make good of it. love cant be forced. so is my heart. i cant force myself to stop loving you. just never knew how to.
11:45 AM In the words of jo
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
i am drenched in tears again. why have you left me. why couldnt we have worked things out. why why why. someone just take my life. it's now worth nothing. im crying again. why why why.
come back. come back. pls baby. come back.
12:08 AM In the words of jo
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Do you ever think of me when you go to bed at night Do you ever wonder how i'd be and if im feeling alright Do you ever miss me Do you ever get soft hearted Do you want to try again Do you have the answers for all my questions
Faith. i sms someone this : sometimes i think faith is a funny thing. i kp having tis faith that u'd still love me and maybe one day we be tog. i dont know everytg abt u yet faith taught me to be paitent cos some day u'l open up. and faith taught me to hang on till ur ready. am i dumb or wierd.
u decide what im. when i fall in love with you, i didnt choose the date the time the hour or the person. i just saw ur stunning fucking eyes and go fuck. im in love. and that love stayed with me till this day. never did i fathom that i would fall in love just like that. it took less than a second to be in love with you. yet a lifetime or maybe not in my lifetime to be out of love with you. thats how much u captured my heart and my soul. i may move on one day. but in my heart there's only you. no one is capable of undoing the love that entangled my heart n my soul. only you can. but i'd rather live in this life being messed up simply because i love you. is that alot to ask for?
if it is alot to ask for then i will kill my love for you and live in denial everyday that i dont love you anymore. if i tell myself that everyday maybe one day i will believe in my own lie and live in that delusion till i breathe my last. alone.without you.
all i did was love you with all my heart and soul. even that was wrong. walk with me. walk that stairs with me.
12:05 AM In the words of jo
Sunday, February 19, 2006
"they say couples who are tog look like each other. does that mean they fall in love with themselves? " We look alike in so many ways. minus the moles:)
yst was purely bizzare. i have no idea why u showed me the ring. was it to show me that in that teeny heart of yours there's still a glimmer of hope and u just wanted me to know you still care in that way? im riding on an emotional roller coaster. one min im happy the next im crushed. if you told me, pls let me live my life like how you did and wait for me. i'd wait. at least give me some love.hug me once awhile or something. i know if i walked away now n meet someone, deep down u will hurt but u will not tell me. but seriously, who can i find that can match up to u? no one.
u asked why i dont hate ---- anymore. well, u may not have noticed but i have let go of alot of hurt, anger, temper, frustrations in me. one which i constantly carried during the last few months of happiness with u. i realised that u bore the brunt of it n nothing good came out of it. i hurt the one i claimed i love most. whats with that huh. till you finally sum up the courage to "throw me way" sometimes i feel that i deserve it. it's my retribution. now ur happier on the surface. wish i cld be like you. happy.
u asked do i still smoke. i told u no. i havent because i dont see the need to right now even with what im going through. nothing with maturity. more of a personal choice. bet u didnt know. haha.
Can u believe it.. the min i fell asleep at 3.24am the dreams were all you, you, you. plus fear of losing you. thank god its a dream. it's was really nothing but ur face staring into my head.. i held u by ur waist. i cld hug u. but u were distracted by i dunno what. so that was part scary, part nice. i really am screwed up right now. i wish birthday wishes could come true. or u'd scream april fools to me n say it was a joke. tho i will kill u, but i'd be the happiest fuck in the world la. haha.
The mad exam revision is coming up n this time im alone. i cant msg n whine to u abt my fears n get a reply of comfort. am abit afraid.im studying IP on my own. im afraid. but no one to tell all these to.. friends can be a source of transient comfort. you are an instant source of permanant relief.
you make everthing good.everything wonderful. you are the reason i believe in love you are the one who can make moments last forever. you are my sanctuary. you are my heaven.
