this is the very ecstasy of love.. If I had another chance tonight I'd try to tell you that the things we had were right Time can't erase the love we shared But it gives me time to realize just how much you cared Now you're gone, I'm really not the same, I guess I have myself to blame Time can't erase the things we said But it gives me time to realize that you're the one instead
You know I won't hold you back now The love we had just can't be found You know I can't hold you back now Now that I'm alone it gives me time to think about the years that you were mine Time can erase the love we shared But it gives me time to realize just how much you cared
My new found friend Gwen once told me this thru email. "ohh i didnt know ur sad n all too. u always sound so cheery n happy" i have come to realise that i have been putting on a mask everyday that it doesnt seem all that hard to put on a fake smile 24/7. sure my face hurt from the fake emotions i portray but at least its for the general good of everyone. right?
Work has been hectic but fun. im real lucky to have nice funny bosses who are gamed to joke around and not walk ard with their noses stuck in the air.. many people dont ustd why i seem to not mind working OT daily apart from my mountain high work that im given, i guess im always afraid of whats install when i get back to the place i once cld called home.
Its nice knowing that people still hold high regard for me. i guess its nice n it gives me the warm fuzzy feeling that maybe i still have something left to go on with life. though it may not be what i wish so fervently for but maybe thats enough. i dont know. im starved from affections, emotions, and probably love. i yearn for it so so so badly. a hug, a kiss seems nothing to many . i used to take it for granted as well. but now, i wish i had one hug n one kiss from you. sigh* me being emotional again.
Many pple try to ustd me and try to control my life. i used to let them control n let them make decisions for me. im tired of tt life and im trying to move away from it. i no longer want to be answerable to anyone. i mean if i do have a partner one day tts diff but i meant other than my partner, i want to be the one in control. hmm sounds kinky huh audrey... haha and jamie.. hahaha.
i trudge on dangerous grounds sometimes. i try my luck once awhile, if it succeed, i can smile for hours, in ur words, smile till my mouth crooked. its so hard to come by nowadays when ur busy. even if i told you i regret everytg i did to u, its not really the point now cos i didnt have faith. but if i told u that i had faith, i just didnt have guts to fight for what i believe in wld you still have choosen to go? ayiah.. what the hell la.. im being sad.... i think its the weather..
caught fireworks yst and it was nice. yap. tmr its work work work agn..
