m'aimer pour qui je suis

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Oh helloooo !

Too cute to be true. My little pip!

Got this bedsheets(: jungle buddies yo.

You know how i keep saying i can build a big fat file castle?or a tree right...

This is only the beginning..

What i have on my plate currently, oh wait. my table i mean.

Another shot..

The sign that greets me this week..

Not just the table, even the floors are flooded..

alrighty, it is 11.23am, and a fruitfly is flying around my head. .

So since I'm not your everything
How about I'll be nothing, nothing at all to you?

10:29 AM
In the words of jo

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

His name was Willie

I remember him as the person who remembers me as the girl who could have made him rich back in 1984 if he had bought the 4d numbers 1700 (the time i was born). Instead, he chose to donate the $10 to God and never won that $20K. Yesterday, dad told me that he passed away.

2 months ago, we had the annual Novena procession in which the entire family volunteered to become communion escorts for the evening. That was when i first met Uncle Willie. At that point in time, he was suffering from cancer of the kidney and yes, he was at stage 4. So the Sowers (church group) kinda fulfilled his last wish to attend the Novena procession. The irony of it all is that, now that he has gone to meet his maker, he could see them in the flesh, oh wait, do they even have flesh since they are divine beings? okay stop thinking so much.

I don't feel sad or morbid, no, that's not why i am blogging about him. It dawned upon me last night that the past 2 months have literally flew/zipped/zoom/dash by. The 2 months meant little to me, i only cared about deadlines, and court sessions. In contrast to him, 2 months would have meant his final preparation to see God. Wonder if he felt ready/scared/happy/relieved/reluctant/resigned.

Then i thought to myself, how i would feel if i had 60 days left. What would i do, what would i say, would i take each day for granted. Then i realize it is not about what i would do, it is about what i would not do. but i don't think i would be so brave, i think i would be so caught up at being angry with God, i will end up wasting the 60days anyway. ah well. I guess the only thing i would not do, is not be stuck in a moment i cant get out of. and i would take many leaps of faith.

i do not know how to continue with this sombre entry.
So i guess i will leave you with whatever i have written.

-random note-

please don't even use what little you have to make it seem that you are way more adequate than me. you are a fraud. you think what you or what they have right now makes me less of a person, but please you are so wrong. i will be nothing like you you or you. i'm not over ambitious, i'm driven and i'm 25. so dont flaunt your nonsense at me. they mean nothing. don't even attempt to be smart. you are not. so go away. shoo shoo.

-end of random note-

Now that is out of my system, mucchhhh better.
okay, i have to get back to killing the fruitfly.

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
-William Shakespeare-

9:53 AM
In the words of jo

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

1) will somebody tell me what will happen come december.
2) i am getting impatient.
3) i don't like to twiddle my thumbs while waiting because i will end up munching on all of them.
4) and will somebody please constantly remind me not to be so nice to everyone?
5)i am so fidgety today i can kill my cells.
6)At least i now know that is the effect you get after going through 6 ring files.

Back to constructing a tree with the amount of paper i have around me.
okay byebye world.

I don’t wanna be lonely no more
I don’t wanna have to pay for this
I don’t want to know the lover at my door
It’s just another heartache on my list

3:58 PM
In the words of jo

Monday, November 02, 2009

Signs

Chanced upon this video again today and i remembered how much i squealed over this video when i first watched it. Don't you wish love happen that way? i remember how excited i was for the guy when they first caught each other's eyes and how she said, i was watching you first. -heart melts into a big puddle of water-

Was just prancing around at home and i realize that it is ironic how i'm currently living your life and you're living mine. When you are in the comfort of your room with only silence for company, do you sometimes wonder if transient happiness is better than happiness littered with mediocrity. That no matter how happy you can be at the moment, your mind still takes you back to when you can truly say despite how flighty it may be, you were happy. like settled, contented kind of happy. It will be so funny when Mr fate & Miss affinity fucks up again.

Okay enough of that, finally got my glasses sorted out, stupid degree increased from 325 & 350 to 400 & 450. geezers. No wonder i have been squinting lately whenever i put on my glasses. I have a gazillion things to do but i have been so damn lazy. Need to head down to the tailor soon to get my court jacket sorted as well. i want a car. nao nao NOW!

back to building a big fat file castle..

Finding someone else you can't get enough of,
Someone who wants to be with you too
It's an itch we know we are gonna scratch.

10:18 AM
In the words of jo